Parent Toolkit
Raising the Bar is here to help parents create healthier, substance-free environments for child and teen events. Our toolkit dispels common myths, offers practical conversation scripts, and provides guidance for hosting safe, enjoyable gatherings. With research-backed resources, we empower parents to confidently navigate conversations about substance use. Together, we can support our youth in making positive choices in the future.
Myths and Scripts
Here are some common misconceptions parents have about drinking around kids — and what research actually tells us. We've also included suggested responses to help you navigate conversations if you encounter resistance from other parents.
-
Response:
I totally get that it would seem that way, especially when they’re super young, but you’d be surprised—kids notice more than we think! Even when they seem busy doing their own thing, kids are really tuned in. They pick up on little stuff, like how our mood shifts or the routines that go along with drinking. They might not say anything, but they’re watching and learning from us all the time. That’s why what we model early on really sticks with them. -
Response:
While I get that the intention is to teach balance, studies show that early exposure to adult drinking—especially at social events—normalizes alcohol use. Instead of learning "moderation," kids often learn that drinking is necessary to have fun or relax. Teaching responsibility is more effective when paired with clear messages about delaying alcohol use until adulthood. -
Totally get that—it does feel pretty common. But just because it’s typical doesn’t mean it’s what’s best. A lot of parents actually wish there were more alcohol-free options but don’t always say it out loud. When one of us makes the first move, it often gives others permission to do the same and helps create a space that feels safer and more welcoming for everyone.
-
Response:
Kids in environments where alcohol is present are more likely to perceive drinking as a normal and expected part of socializing. Research indicates that early normalization of alcohol can increase the risk of underage drinking later. Youth-focused events can be fun and celebratory without alcohol on the scene. -
Totally—but even just having a drink in hand can still shape how kids think about it. They don’t really get the idea of “just one glass” versus “too much”—they just see the behavior itself. When we skip alcohol at kid-focused events, it makes it really clear to them that their well-being is the priority, and that fun doesn’t have to include drinking.
-
Response: Honestly, they’re picking up more than we think—even little ones. Research says kids start forming ideas about alcohol way earlier than we expect, sometimes as young as preschool. Even if they don’t totally “get it,” they’re watching and learning from what we do.
-
That feels like it would make sense, but research actually shows that when kids regularly see drinking—even when it’s casual or no big deal—they tend to get curious earlier and are more likely to experiment. The combo that really helps is having open, honest conversations and showing them through our actions that fun doesn’t have to include drinking.
-
It might seem tricky at first, but there are lots of families and communities that pull it off—and the kids really benefit. When we model that you can have a great time without alcohol, it helps kids grow up with a healthier idea of what fun and connection look like. And honestly, sometimes those alcohol-free events end up being the ones we remember most.